Here’s a gentle challenge: the next time you feel stuck in a pattern, try doing the opposite. Craving social time? Take yourself on a solo walk. Feeling tempted to cancel plans for yet another night in? Call up a good friend.

Psychologists describe this as cultivating cognitive flexibility—the ability to shift your behavior in response to what serves you best, rather than staying locked in automatic habits (Gabrys et al., 2018). Cognitive flexibility is key to emotional resilience, helping you adapt when what you’re doing isn’t actually helping you feel better.

What We Want May Not Be Helpful

Another useful concept is experiential avoidance—when we avoid experiences that might be uncomfortable, even if they’re beneficial in the long run (Hayes et al., 1996). For example, you might keep canceling plans because it feels easier in the moment, but social connection might actually be what your mind and body need. By choosing actions that disrupt your usual patterns—even when it feels counterintuitive—you engage in a form of behavioral activation, a well-researched practice that uses intentional, meaningful activities to improve mood and increase motivation (Dimidjian et al., 2006). In short: what you want and what you need aren’t always the same. Challenging yourself to step outside your habits creates space for growth—and often, a little unexpected joy.

Closing Thoughts on Self-Care

Thanks for following along on this journey to explore self care. We hope you read something that helped. Real self-care isn’t flashy. It’s not about perfect morning routines, expensive retreats, or another face mask you don’t really need. It’s about learning to listen to yourself in small, meaningful ways. Over these four weeks, we’ve explored self-care practices that aren’t always trendy—but they work. Whether it’s taking a break from your screen, saying no, stepping outside your routine, or visiting a place that makes you feel alive, each of these choices is a way of telling yourself: you matter. Keep it simple. Keep it honest. And keep creating space to take care of the person you're becoming.

References

• Gabrys, R. L., et al. (2018). Cognitive Flexibility and Emotional Well-Being: A Review. Frontiers in Psychology.
• Hayes, S. C., et al. (1996). Experiential Avoidance and Behavioral Disorders. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
• Dimidjian, S., et al. (2006). Behavioral Activation for Depression: A Clinical Trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.